*What you focus on, you’ll get more of*


You know how when you test drive a new car you’ve never really noticed before, and then you start to see it all around you?  This is what it means to get more of what you focus on.


We can use this to our advantage, but sometimes we get caught up in negative thoughts and beliefs that then prove themselves to be true time and time again.


Case in point: A couple months ago, I was having one of those days…


My face was breaking out, I was hot, sweaty, my hair was frizzy, I felt kind of pudgy, and really just a hot mess.


Now add onto that my husband making a comment that, “only ugly guys check you out.”


Ummm excuse me?!


I was totally speechless, not just because it was a totally rude remark, but because there was a part of me that thought it was true.


You see, I had been noticing not so attractive guys checking me out or hitting on me, and had come to that conclusion myself. And because that’s what I focused on, that’s what I got more of.


*Sidebar: it wasn’t just that unattractive guys were checking me out, it’s what I made that mean about myself – ie I must not be that attractive. That was the real issue underneath my hurt and anger.

So how do you change this?


3 Steps to Quickly Shift Negative Self-Talk


  • Recognize a negative belief or pattern that keeps repeating.
    • Ex: only unattractive guys check me out (and therefore I must be unattractive too)
  • What do you want to believe instead?
    • I want to believe that hot, attractive guys check me out, and that I’m hot and sexy too.
  • How can I BE the type of girl attractive guys would check out?
    • I’d do my hair and makeup most days in a way where I feel really pretty. (This doesn’t mean I have to be photo-shoot-ready, it simply means I feel pretty.)
    • I’d wear clothes that flatter my figure, instead of hiding in baggy sweatshirts and yoga pants.
    • I’d smile, and look men in the eyes, and energetically be more present and aware of my surroundings, instead of hurrying past, head down, thinking of what else I need from the grocery store.


So not only do I get to shift my belief, but I also get to shift my actions so that they fall more in line with the type of woman I want to be.


Makes sense?


Now for the results!

I actually put this to the test yesterday at an Oktoberfest event, and here’s what happened:


  • I showered, did my hair and makeup, and put on a favorite new top, instead of going in my sweaty gym clothes. I didn’t care what others thought of me; I felt pretty.
  • I noticed some reeeeally attractive guys checking me out, and not just looking at my butt, but flirting a little. I’ll take it! 😉


I changed the energy of how I was showing up in the world, shifted my attention to focus on what I DO WANT, and I got a totally different result.


Now it’s your turn, what’s 1 belief you’d like to change, and what do you want to believe instead?

Tell me below in the comments, or if you’re feeling stuck and unsure how this works for you, schedule a free mini session, and I’ll walk you through the process step-by-step.