I take a two-pronged approach, so we look at your BELIEFS, then ACTION.
1. Uncover WHY you want to lose weight, and what that would allow you to do / become.
2. Small, simple shifts compounding over time.
Case in point: coffee.
It’s my favorite way to start the day now, but it was a real struggle to start drinking *mostly* black coffee in the morning instead of my traditional skinny peppermint mocha → light or no sugar added hot cocoa powder, coffee and cashew milk.
Now my skinny mochas weren’t bad, but it was still a fair amount of sugar / sweetener first thing in the morning.
I still give myself permission to drink my skinny mocha in the afternoon, because:
- I love them, and
- If I deprive myself of the foods and drinks I love the most, I’ll only want them MORE.
I didn’t start drinking black coffee based on what someone told me to do, or because sugar is “evil,” or because I thought this one trick would drop massive weight…
I did it on my own terms, in my own time, and AFTER I did the internal work to shift my beliefs about food.
I had to get clear on WHY I wanted to switch to black coffee in the first place.
A past health coach actually told me to stop drinking my skinny mochas a couple years ago, to just drink black coffee, give up my protein bars, don’t eat any processed food… and while she had good intentions, that ended in disaster.
Emotional disaster that is.
I felt like such a failure – I couldn’t do it, couldn’t stick to her eating plan, didn’t want to stop drinking my skinny mochas, I still needed ‘willpower’ to resist the snacking and sweet cravings that popped up in the afternoon, every afternoon.
I still wanted my protein bars, and felt so ashamed for eating one (or three), because that meant I wasn’t sticking to my plan, and if I didn’t stick to my plan 6 days a week, then I’d never lose the weight, stay stuck hating my body, and never be loved or accepted just the way I was.
I dreaded stepping on the scale each week, so I quickly stopped.
I was told to just start eating earlier in the day, to “regulate my blood sugar” and that “simple science” and “basic math” was all I needed to effortlessly lose 20lbs in 4 months.
But we never talked about the deeper beliefs I held around food and body, how I was terrified of calories because if it’s just calories in / calories out, won’t I just eat too many calories if I start eating too early in the day?
You see, the REAL problem was my fear of food, because I was terrified of not losing weight, not having a certain body shape or perfectly flat stomach → which meant that I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worthy of being loved, making the money I wanted, being successful, all of it.
Our issue is never about the weight.
It’s always about what the weight MEANS to us.
Our beliefs around food and body often go back decades to when we were 5, 6, 7 years old.
The problem with 99% of diets and “lifestyles” out there is that they place these arbitrary rules and restrictions on people, who then feel like total sh*t when they can’t live up.
They come at it from a superficial, tactical approach of changing behavior from the outside, rather than changing BELIEFS first, so that your behavior changes naturally.
Oh and that “lifestyle” they’re preaching, just means to do the diet for the rest of your life. Because who needs Oreo’s or pasta or wine ever again? [insert sarcastic eye roll]
I DO MOTHER F-ERS!
I don’t want to live in a world without cheesecake and protein bars and burgers and sweet potato fries and trying new cocktails and eating the best mashed potatoes of my life at a swanky DC restaurant!
And chances are, neither do you.
So the question I now ask is not just how do I create the body I crave, but how do I create a LIFE I freakin’ LOVE?
So before we start talking about what you will DO next, let’s talk about what you FEEL right now, and then we’ll unpack WHY.
Why do you want to lose weight? What would losing 20 pounds allow you to do? Who would it allow you to become?
Share your thoughts with us in the Body You Crave Inner Circle.
Feeling stuck and unsure where to go from here?
Schedule a free mini coaching session where I’ll help you identify YOUR next step in creating the body you crave, without the struggle.